Subtopic	Posts		Last Post
	Archive through May 03, 2003	20		05/06 11:34pm
	Archive through October 28, 2003	20		10/29 04:05am

By Gr8eyes on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 04:24 pm:

Looks like fun Bernie. How did you stay upright going down that slope? 

By Backslap on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 09:53 pm:

Why I will not stop at Wall Mart.

This summer, me and the FJR went for a couple of days to the very mountainous part of South Eastern West Virginia to tackle the twistie roads East of Summerville. Met up with a few sportriders who at first seemed likeable enough and I rode with the group for a ways through the curviest and wildest roads I have been on in a long time. There always seems to be a crazy guy in a group of sportsriders, passing on double yellows when there is no room to pass, riding on both sides of the road, scraping pegs where possible, doing wheelies, etc. Razz was the name of the crazy one on this ride, constantly gunning his GSXR 1000 and smoking the tires. I decided that I had had enough of riding with this group after about 15 miles of white knuckles and gritted teeth on my part.

We had just pulled into the bottom of a Wall Mart parking lot (side of a mountain) to decide which road to take and Razz flipped up his visor and was lauding over his extreme riding abilities and giving everyone a hard time about being too careful.

All of a sudden, WHAM!
A metal Wall Mart shopping cart barreling down the parking lot hill at high speed smacked directly into the left side of Razz and the GSXR. Since Razz had his left toe down and his right foot on the peg, he immediately was knocked down onto the right side onto his buddy on a brand new R-1 who immediately was dumped down on the right side, off the bike and rolled at least once. Razz rolled off his buddies bike bouncing his $600 helmet and scuffing his new leathers. His bike suffered signifigant damage on both sides as did the R-1 which had a custom paint job. The shifter was broken clean off the GSXR and both sides of the tank was dented as was the tank of the R-1 when the Gixxer banged into it.

I never heard anything but cuss words from Razz and his friend for the next ten minutes as they were screaming expletives, hopping and limping around in a frenzy with their wildly painted helmets and brightly colored leathers on. I just gunned the FJR a few times and scooted out of there. I will never ride the FJR into a Wall Mart parking lot from now on. 

By Bernie on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 02:52 am:

Gr8eyes, staying upright was easy, it was staying slow that had me worried. Actually, we returned to the mountain many times over the following years, and once I had conquered my fear, the ride down was easy. We caught several other suckers with that trick. 

By Billl on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 03:49 am:

Reading Bernie's story reminded me of the time I was riding my BSA 650cc Lightning "Dirt Bike" on the famous hill in Panoche, California called "The Miler". It was polished dirt for about 1000 feet and then at the top were massive craters that would swallow up the biggest of bikes. I had only made it over the top one time and I was determined to make it again on this day. I hit the bottom of the hill at the top of 3rd gear on a 4 speed bike and almost drove my face through the handlebars. I was flying up this massive hill when I reached the knarly part. I bounced twice, caught traction and looped the bike way into the air and broke the clutch lever off of the handlebars.
I gathered up my bike and realizing that I had no clutch lever, wrapped the cable around the bars, put the bike in neutral and headed down the hill. No problem, since I was an experienced hill climber...however just as I started down, I heard this click, click, click, clunk as the bike was partially in 1st gear and went completely into 1st gear which locked the rear wheel and there was no chance of starting the bike by jumping up. Especially since "up" was behind me and I was rapidly gaining massive speed with the rear wheel swapping sides down the hill.
I managed to keep the bike up and relatively straight as I hit the bottom at about 40mph. The force when I hit the bottom of the hill again drove me back into the handlebars and immediately started the bike, still in 1st gear and screamed the engine until I locked the rear wheel and came to a shaking, wet pants stop.

Bill L. (soon to be Marauder instead of billl) 

By Bernie on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 04:05 am:

I've seen film of that climb, you guys are crazy. 

By Bernie on Thursday, October 30, 2003 - 01:14 am:

Talking about clutch cables, back on the BMW R69S, I was touring Rhodesia with the girl friend, and was just leaving Victoria Falls, when the clutch cable snapped. Bugger!
There was no hope of getting it fixed at the Falls, so we set off for Bulawayo, 270 miles away.
I could change gear quite easily without the clutch. The BMW had a lovely gearbox, but pulling away from a stop was a real problem. You had to get the bike rolling, and then smash the gearbox into first gear, and hope it didn't stall.
To do that, I had to run beside the bike and push it up to speed, then jump on and kick it into gear before it stopped. Of course, I had to do this with the Sheila on the back, so I couldn't swing my leg over in the normal way, I had to stand on the peg and lift my leg over the top. Bear in mind that I am a Shortarse, so you can imagine the fun and games.
Well, doing that once when I left the Falls was OK, but when we got into Bulawayo, I ran into a string of about 10 traffic lights, all red naturally. When we finally got to a bike shop, I was rooted, and had to lie on the pavement to recover for about half an hour. 

By Gr8eyes on Thursday, October 30, 2003 - 01:30 am:

I wouldn't have made 2 lights 

By Kieth on Thursday, October 30, 2003 - 12:15 pm:

This summer on a trip to Deals Gap I was following a friend (who shall remain nameless).
We had dropped down into Georgia and were headed back to Deals Gap and got caught in a slow group of cars and trucks. My friend decided to pass on the double yellow and had made it past half the group when a oncoming car popped out of a dip in the pavement (the reason for the double yellow). There was no place for him to go and I thought for sure this was going to be really ugly, but thankfully at the last moment and with flying debris the oncoming car ran into the ditch off the road and saved my buddy's ass.
Wow sheer terror followed by relief and then hysterical laughing. The car he had run off the road was the County Sheriff.
Kieth  

By Sharp on Thursday, October 30, 2003 - 08:32 pm:

That sounds suspiciously like a ride around Mt. Rainier, myself and Miatafjr..... hmmmm. Miata...how'd that turn out?  

By Liquidsilver on Friday, October 31, 2003 - 12:52 am:

@Bernie - that's hilarious...

...the red lights and getting the dam thing moving with a pillion???

Sheesh! You're a better man than I!

I woulda made my wife hitch-hike to the other side of town.

@Kieth - so has the guy gotten out of jail yet? You've really got to start riding with a more civilized bunch, I'm beginning to worry about you.

 

By Bernie on Friday, October 31, 2003 - 02:41 am:

Here's a picture of the offending beast, taken at Kariba Dam on the same trip. 

By David1300 on Friday, October 31, 2003 - 03:23 am:

Those were they days, when protective riding gear was a T shirt and a pair of tight shorts. At least you are wearing a belt, and that wallet of yours is making quite a bulge.  

By Bernie on Friday, October 31, 2003 - 03:40 am:

We were real men in those days, but at least I had a helmet on. As for the wallet, plastic money hadn't been invented then, and I needed drinking vouchers enough for me and the Sheila for 2 weeks. 

By Finnfjr on Friday, October 31, 2003 - 09:36 am:

Looking at Bernies BMW reminds me about my Guzzi a had for many years. I was riding (1997)in the Eifel area in Germany with my girlfriend when it started to rain. At first it wasn´t so bad but it got worse as we climbed up the mountain road. Then the it got serious all of a sudden. The thunder and lightning show started and the rain really poured down. The visibilty was zero and all kinds of debris washed down the road from the hill slopes. I almost couldn´t see the road any more. Then I happened to look down at the crotch area. There was a water puddle between my legs and the fuel tank. I looked at it and decided to dump the water asap. Just opened my legs a bit and down the water went. Straight on the V2 cylinders. The water boiled up in steam the very next second. Then I really couldn´t see a thing and almost drove of a cliff. Decided to stop and seek cover. We found an abandoned farm house and stopped. There was a storage cellar which door was just wide enough for the Guzzi. The storm was intense and the lightnings struck just above us. Sand came thru the ceiling arches and the structure didn´t seem solid to me. I pushed the bike out in the rain so it wouldn´t get caught if the roof collapsed. My girlfriend looked at me with great confusion but wouldn´t say anything. When I returned back she asked why I pushed the bike out. "Isn´t the cellar safe?" "It is for us but not for the bike, fire hazard you know...!?!? She gave me one of those looks

Finnfjr 

By Kieth on Friday, October 31, 2003 - 03:42 pm:

John, The Officer never came after him. It probably scared him as much as it did my friend.
Kieth  

By Bernie on Saturday, November 01, 2003 - 12:55 am:

Finnfjr, Don't you just love those puddles between the legs, bloody wet weather pants always leak just there. 

By Bernie on Saturday, November 01, 2003 - 06:19 am:

Finn's story reminds me of a tale my old man used to tell. This occurred in the late 40's before I was born.
My dad had an Aerial Square Four at the time, and was taking my soon to be uncle, who was new to the country, on a ride to see the Eastern Highlands of Rhodesia.
They set off on a beautiful morning, dressed very much like me in the above photo, shorts and T shirt. When they got up into the mountains, sure enough, the clouds came over, and down came heavy rain. The roads were all dirt at that time, and soon they were struggling through thick mud.
On a particularly bad stretch, they had to get off and push the bike for about a mile.
Half way, my dad noticed that my uncle was no longer helping, so he looked round to see why.
My uncle was just standing in the rain with a silly look on his face, so my dad asked, "what are you doing?"
"Having a piss" was the answer. Well why not, the rain was freezing cold, and the piss nice and warm. 

By Bernie on Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 06:26 am:

Beautiful day in Perth today, clear blue sky with sunshine so bright you can't believe it, no wind and +30C.
Me and the missus took a ride down to Mandurah for morning coffee. At a major intersection, I was first in line in my lane, waiting for a green light, when a loud Harley with an ugly goon riding it, came up through the cars and stopped next to me. He was obviously psyching up to blow me off when the light changed, so I thought, watch this you turd.
The lights changed, and I launched,-----, a little too hard. The FJR stood up like a 16 year old on his first visit to the nudie beech.
While I was sorting that out, the Harley did indeed blow me off. How embarrasing.
You would think a mature age member of the Ulysses club would know better.
Afterwards, the missus got the giggles and admitted that she rather enjoyed that.
Thank God for the top box and back rest. 

By Rabbit1300 on Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 11:43 am:

oops......

I trust that your crash helmet hid your very, very, red face

Rabbit
 

By Liquidsilver on Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 06:28 pm:

Oh Bernie, with your premature release, you've disgraced the worldwide FJR community... now you've got to wear a pink arm band for 30 days!

 

By Deanw on Sunday, November 02, 2003 - 10:35 pm:

Obviously, you stop by the Harley at the next light, laugh, and say "Any bloke can be fast. Can you get yours up like I did?" 

By David1300 on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 01:25 am:

Bernie - shame on your wife for getting the giggles when you went off too early - doesn't she appreciate how sensitive we guys relly are Might impact on your performance for life  

By Bernie on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 01:31 am:

Well, being blown off by a Harley goon can be very exciting.